The Sage-ing Guild Communicator
Changing the paradigm from Aging to Sage-ing®

Of Interest

• Elder Passage Wilderness Quest. With guides Anne Stine and Ann Linnea: This nine-day immersion into the sacred Inyo Mountains, CA beyond the eastern Sierras is an opportunity for women age 50 and older to explore what it means to become an elder in the world at this time. Informed by the wisdom of nature, we will enter the initiatory passage into this next stage of life. In addition to the traditional practices of solitude, fasting and exposure to the natural world, we will sit in council, sing, dance, journal, drum, walk and create ceremony together. July 15-25, 2010; $1225; limited to 12 women, age 50 and older. For more details on this quest, please download an Elder Quest flyer.

• Conscious Aging. For audiotapes of lectures on the subject by Bernie Siegel, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, Maggie Kuhn, Ram Dass, and Marion Woodman, visit the Ventana book catalog site [Human Values in Aging, March 2010].

• Aging as a Natural Monastery, by Jane Marie Thibault (1996; "Aging & Spirituality: Newsletter of ASA's Forum on Religion, Spirituality & Aging"; VIII (3), 5): An increasing number of my days are spent encouraging and accompanying adults on their spiritual journeys. When I was first invited to engage in spiritual "companioning" and counselling with elders, I had a traditional paradigm of spiritual growth in mind. I had been trained experientially and cognitively from an early age in Carmelite spirituality, specifically through studying the works of John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila and my own experience of Carmelite spiritual direction. Later I added Benedictine and Ignatian concepts and James Fowler's theories of stages of faith development. I was oriented to a linear approach to developmental stages of faith and spiritual growth and was rather dogmatic in my thinking that the spiritual life "should" be a lifelong process of increasing awareness and experience of the transcendent within and without, culminating in a specific, ongoing sense of union with God in later life. Colleagues joked that I was trying to "make mystics out of out people" and I retorted with, "Why not? Can you think of anything more exciting to look forward to?"

With that thought in mind I began and intense search for elderly mystics. I wanted to see how mysticism "played out" in later life. I was sure I would find many models among aged monks, nuns, and devout lay people of all faiths. I wanted to hear the stories of their inner experiences and understand the influences on and patterns of their development. read more...

• Growing Old: A Journey of Self-Discovery, by Danielle Quinodoz (Routledge, 2009). Throughout Growing Old the author draws on both her clinical experience of working with the elderly, and her own personal experience of growing old. This makes it an interesting read for both practicing psychoanalysts, and those who wish to gain a greater insight of the natural progression into later life.

• The Longevity Revolution: The Benefits and Challenges of Living a Long Life, by Robert Butler (Public Affairs, 2010). Dr. Robert N. Butler coined the term "ageism" and made "Alzheimer's" a familiar word. Now he brings his formidable knowledge to a recent and unprecedented achievement: the extension of human life expectancy by thirty years, and the growing number of people over age sixty-five.

Alarmingly, our society has not adapted to this change. In this urgent and ultimately optimistic book, Butler calls for us to reexamine our personal and societal approach to aging right now, so that the boomers and the generations that follow may have a financially secure and vigorous final chapter of life.

• The Mystery School 2010 Intensive: The Initiation of the Sage: Igniting the Power of Experience. July 11-18, 2010, Ashland OR. $2,995 double occupancy. Go here for more information.

• Examining Resilience of Quality of Life in the Face of Health-Related and Psychosocial Adversity at Older Ages: What is "Right" About the Way We Age?, by Zoe Hildon, Scott M. Montgomery, David Blane, Richard D. Wiggins, and Gopalakrishnan Netuveli. Rough Spots and Resilience: Most important, those judged as resilient had coping styles in which they said they learned from their problems, such that they eventually gained something from their negative experience. Resilient people also were able to accept and live with the new reality and integrating it into their lives. A coping style not contributing to resilience was called "avoidance coping," in which the problems were not addressed, but rather the focus was on negative feelings—a "poor me" syndrome, characterized by depression, hopelessness, and being overwhelmed.

Also interesting, resilient people had more relationships that they defined as good; they were more integrated into their communities, and thus were less likely to feel isolated or alone. They were more likely to say they had "friendly neighbors," and they lived in places where people looked out for one another. Women also turned out to be more resilient than men on the measures used in this study. The researchers suggested social policies that could facilitate resilience in older people, including facilitating transportation access and opportunities for social engagement. (From The Gerontologist, 2009, 50, 36-47. [The Positive Aging Newsletter, Jan/Feb 2010])

• Creating Purpose-Driven Senior Living Communities. In the Journal on Active Aging, by Kay Van Norman: I've believed for a long time that meaning and purpose are a primary key to living well, regardless of age. I look forward to the time when older adults with functional challenges are given the same resources, opportunities, and encouragement to continue growing and contributing to the community as young people with disabilities are given. Readers who would like to have a copy of this article are welcome to email Kay; she has indicated that she will be happy to send you one. [The Positive Aging Newsletter]

• The Importance of Legacy Writing, by Rachael Freed (legacy writing for men and women)

Legacies: the footprints we leave behind They prove that we were here: we lived, we mattered, we made a difference. Sometimes we leave tangible legacies like children, money, crafts, poetry, heirlooms, or gardens. But most legacies are the fruits of a life well lived. They're found in every tree we've saved using recycled paper, every friend we've cheered on with our caring and laughter, every co-worker with whom we've shared expertise, and every stranger to whom we've shown kindness. But unless you document your unique legacy, your stories and values will one day be lost forever, buried in the dust of history. By putting your values into words, you not only preserve your legacy, but offer a special gift to loved ones: your spiritual-ethical will.

A spiritual-ethical will is not a legal will, which documents how your estate should be distributed after you die. It is a record of who you are—a gift to the present and to the future, offered to loved ones while you're still alive. Your spiritual-ethical will is an opportunity to articulate your values, impart your wisdom, bless your loved ones, and express how you hope to be memorialized after your death. One day your descendants will hold this document in their hands and know who you were, how you lived, and what you contributed to the world. This may be the most important writing you will ever do. read more...

• Feeding Mrs. Moskowitz, by Barbara Pokras; and The Caregiver, by Fran Pokras Yariv (Syracuse University Pr. 2010).

Imagine this. A dumpy elderly widow, Mrs. Moskowitz, who has trouble remembering everyday needs, heads out of her apartment for a little grocery shopping. A neurotic young woman, Natalie, obsessing with guilt about how she didn't attend to her mother before her mother's death hurries to work. They collide and a fairy tale is born. A happy fairy tale. Other characters include an insurance adjuster and a painter or two. Barbara Pokras, a film editor in another life, has written a charming, totally unbelievable tale with hilarious yet realistic dialog both outloud and within the thought process. The women by themselves could be our neighbors. It is the situations which are outlandish. A delightful read.

Fran Pokras Yariv, sister of Barbara Pokras, creates a more serious character, Ofelia, in The Caregiver. If I'm ever in a situation which calls for a caregiver, I want Ofelia. She is compassionate, thoughtful and efficient in her work as a private caregiver in the Sunset Hills Retirement Community. She minces no words in her journal and her conversations with the staff about the management treatment of the guests. She treats her charge, Mrs. Breur with dignity and care. Her dealings with the daughter-in-charge is more like walking on eggs.

In this longer novella, we meet several of the other inhabitants of Sunset Hills, who strive to remain interesting individuals while skirting numerous rules and regulations. As in her sister's novella, conversations are natural and often hilarious. It takes very little time for the reader to join the retiree/staff team against the management team. I know that independent living facilities can and often are outstanding in their care of their residents, but not in this situation.

Both authors shine in their depiction of aging human beings as fighters in the "not dead yet" crusade. Hurrah for fiction which illustrates some positive aspects of aging.